Romance, but not as we know It
by Dozana
Summary: Loki is up to his old tricks. Constructive criticism appreciated.
1. Proposal

Step 1 was a coffee. After watching her movements for many weeks, Loki concluded Black Widow was sent to retrieve meals noticeably more often than the rest of the team. Specifically, the owner of the new avengers' headquarters, Tony Stark, seemed to leave the tower on a snack run only once every two months. If all went according to plan, Loki would be able to discover the rationale in person.

The alien was perched on the second floor of a bistro frequented by the affluent. Wearing a tailored, light-coloured suit, none of the patrons seemed to pay him any mind. Nor was he interested in them. Yet. Eventually, of course, they and the rest of the human race would bow to him. For now he was focused on the only female Avenger.

Black Widow entered a _shawarma_ restaurant easily within view of the balcony where Loki was musing. She spent about five minutes inside despite the busy interior. He stepped back from the railing for the stairs to the street below, positioning himself outside the entrance to the fast food restaurant. When she emerged quickly and walked straight into him, he caught her bag while she easily righted herself.

Natasha, upon seeing the besuited man, blanked her face automatically.

"My apologies, that was entirely my fault," Loki began. "Would you be amenable to a coffee in recompense?" His enigmatic smile drew curious looks from passersby without much effort.

"If I take that back, will there now be a bomb inside?" she asked bluntly.

He laughed, "Oh, to have found me out quickly! You wound me, woman, that you think I would attack with so base a plot." He shook his head, handing back the bag. "No, I haven't. Coffee?"

Natasha narrowed her eyes before coming to a decision. "Fine. No weapons, and you talk quickly or I shoot." He had no doubt she had a weapon somewhere in her black jacket; fortunately, none were immediately apparent on the rest of her usual garb.

Loki heaved a pained sigh. "No weapons_ for me_, then, would be more precise."

"That shop over there, five minutes. I'm gonna take this back." He raised an eyebrow but said nothing.

There was quite a high risk Black Widow would return in the company of her fellow avengers. Loki balanced this troublesome thought with the modicum of trust he might gain for continuing with the meeting despite this. She was swift to return, which was fortunate as some of the staff were giving him unpleasant looks for not ordering anything. Not that he had been timing, but Natasha seemed to appear almost exactly when she said she would. He did note the addition of colourful makeup; her curly hair seemed tamer as well.

Natasha noted aloud the lack of coffee on the table.

"Ah yes. I realized upon arrival I was unaware of your preference. What would you like, my lady?"

"God, I've gone from 'woman' to 'my lady' in five minutes flat. Makeup must really do it for you," she replied. "Caramel macchiato, if you would, thanks." After eyeing a teenaged couple now finished with their drinks hovering around the comfortable sofas, they quickly made room for her to sit and retreated.

Loki conjured local Midgard money inside his pocket and managed to both confuse and intimidate all three baristas behind the counter before acquiring the macchiato and a hot chocolate for himself. ("Hey, where's your accent from? We usually hear all kinds, but yours is pretty cool!" "It is none of your concern. What should be your concern is the drinks I ordered.") He also bought a packet of small caramel waffles on impulse. On another, more childish, impulse he half tried to sneak up on the trained and experienced assassin looking out the window.

"Not your strong point, Loki. Did the barista really deserve to be called a 'slow-witted mule'?" she interrupted his thoughts without looking, then turned and took the proffered coffee.

"Perhaps I might have been more forgiving were I not forced to repeat my order. The comment on my origins was entirely unnecessary." He picked up his hot chocolate and took a sip.

She rubbed her forehead. "What do you want? I don't bump into murderers by accident."

"Right to business, I had hoped we would chat for a while longer." Loki leant his head on his hand not quite dolefully. The juvenile expression contrasted with the expensive-looking suit.

She smiled, "One could say you ruined that idea after calling me, what was it...? A 'mewling quim'."

"Oh my dear, you're still holding that against me? I was under duress - all alone in a strange ship - and you were not even that upset anyway. As you would say, I gave you what you needed. However you made me reveal myself... it worked out in your favour, did it not?"

"Interesting. Maybe if you'd given up earlier, you might not have had that embarrassing incident."

He blinked several times before looking away and changing the subject. "Although, you are right. This is business and I have more information that you want. I assume we are being recorded?"

"Of course," the redhead replied, taking a sip of her macchiato.

"Very well. There is one condition, however, before I begin. This new enemy is unaware that I have been listening to their meetings, and there's a certain risk to doing so on my part."

"You want protection?" She narrowed her eyes.

"Possibly. I would much rather not be detected in the first place, but should it come to that, then yes. It would be most appreciated. I may be able to defend myself in most cases, but everyone has their limits." He took a swig of his hot chocolate to pause.

Natasha giggled, a sound that unnerved him more than knowing what she could do in battle. "Who on Earth is it that has Loki running scared?" She looked for all the world to utterly disbelieve everything he had said. He felt she could have chosen better phrasing.

He cleared his throat and began, "The Chitauri needed a leader; they needed me. Those who would attack this time can govern themselves. They are known as the Kybant, and they are not of this solar system. You need not know the details, but they are vicious and clever." He glanced up to see if she was intrigued and he was not disappointed. Her normal mask of indifference was slightly cracked by her leaning forward and focusing intently on him. Perfect.

"Recently, I acquired information that their planet had received a signal, from Earth. Their home is not dead yet, but it is dying. I know that various groups among the Kybant plan to take what they need. I know not what means they would use to come here, but be sure that they mean to. And they mean you no peace." He leant back and drank more.

The second he stopped, Natasha disengaged. "That's it?" she frowned and held her hand open.

Loki gestured to the surrounding patrons, and said, "I could go on about the," he coughed and raised his voice slightly, "extraterrestrial weapons they have." Given the noisy environment, not many people noticed or cared, but a few heads turned. "I propose a ceasefire. I could escape, if Thor chose to bring me to Asgard yet again, but it would be more... constructive if we could ignore our history for now, until we could eliminate this new threat."

"Today is the day of surprises. You would _deign_ to help us mere mortals?"

"I cannot rule a planet of no one but myself."

"Somehow, I think you of all people would find a way." She smiled wryly. When he sat in unimpressed silence, she said, "Fine. Are you going to come in peacefully or will I have to persuade you?"

"Peacefully. But I look forward to being persuaded next time." He smiled once more, and neither was quite sure if it was genuine.


	2. Known Hostile

There were few reactions to be had in the lobby of Stark's tower: blind acceptance; slight curiosity; outright fear; and imperceptibly backing away. Or any combination of the above. Some not very dormant part of Loki greatly enjoyed being the subject of such attention, though he did not let it show. Black Widow (as she was very much in Business Mode) spoke a few muffled words to the guards at the front desk which he could have easily overheard had he so desired. It was much more amusing to observe the reactions of various S.H.I.E.L.D. agents, scattered Stark employees, and the occasional human whose role he did not care to probe. His escort gestured for him to follow, and they entered the elevators alone. Natasha clicked a button a few floors below the top.

"So, you trust me not to attack?" Loki asked as the digital display flashed consecutively higher numbers.

She gave him a condescending look before facing the doors again. "If you do, I can handle it."

"Are you so sure?" He began a smooth hand movement to emit light. She had him up against the wall with a knife against his thigh when he had only just registered movement. The door pinged open and Natasha was standing back where she started. No one outside noticed her: they were all giving him strange looks, varying only in magnitude, for leaning on the wall in such an awkward position.

Black Widow left the elevator without looking back and Loki was given a wide berth in her wake. Much though it pained him to admit, he would have to be more careful with this one. To his relief, the man who called Loki his brother did not appear to be anywhere nearby, though he did not expect this would last. Thor did seem to have impeccable timing when his presence was unwanted.

Loki was eventually lead through various identical, brightly lit corridors to a starkly bare room furnished by one large table and a few basic chairs. An adjacent wall was fully covered by a mirror. A black leather chair was currently occupied by a man Loki recognized from the airship's prison, currently leaning on the table with his fingers intertwined. Director Fury was appropriately named for how he looked at the moment.

"So, I've been told that you have some intel you're willing to share."

"I do."

"About a species called the Kybant. I find it interesting that I've never heard of them before, despite the fact," Fury scrunched his eyebrows and turned to face him, "that we have accurate information about any planets close enough to pose a threat. _Are_ they close enough to be a threat? I'm going to be honest with you: I don't quite believe your story."

"They will destroy your home whether you believe they will or not."

"And I say I'm not going to take any action based on what you say without evidence. So find me some or I will give the order for every agent sitting behind that screen to try to take you down and lock you up _before_ I shoot you. Got it?"

"How fortunate I thought to bring this with me," Loki replied with an eye roll. He gestured and an ornate blue box appeared on the table in front of him. "This is one of their weapons. Or rather, it belonged to others, more powerful than they, and the Kybant stole it." They all looked at the artefact in temporary silence.

"What about Thor?" Black Widow asked.

"What _about_ Thor?" Loki retorted.

"Are these amazingly well-hidden aliens so dangerous that you and a God of Thunder couldn't handle them?" Fury asked.

"Human, you might not have noticed: he and I are not on the best of terms at this precise moment. I would rather not speak to him if it is not required of me."

"And yet you want to save a planet he has named himself protector of? I want to know why you're so invested in helping us all of a sudden."

"I had hoped Natasha would have filled you in on the boring details for me," Loki glanced in her direction near the doorway and could have sworn he saw her stiffen at the unfamiliar use of her name.

"I want to hear every word from you personally, Loki."

"I suppose the most succinct answer would be to repeat that I cannot rule a dead planet. Much though your agent may disagree."

"First believable thing you've said all day! No one gets to destroy your toys before you do, huh?"

"I do not _destroy_ my things," the effective god said, examining his fingernails and hoping to somehow move this dull conversation on.

"Alright. I want you debriefed – and you _will_ cooperate this time – and you will be under observation all the time. If I decide anything you do is suspicious, you will be sedated. _Capiche_?"

"This is nothing unexpected. I do hope you will include the recording from earlier: it would be tiresome to explain the basics again..." Loki's voice trailed off as three anonymous agents entered the room; one of them stuck something to the lapel of his suit. He looked down to see his name in their language, upside-down. The bemusement must have shown on his face.

"In case there's anyone unaware of who you are and the danger you pose. Plotting aliens worlds away there might be, but I'm looking at enemy number one in my own headquarters."

Said enemy gave the director an unconcerned smile and turned to find his earlier escort gone. Given what little he knew of Black Widow, it did not surprise him. The new guards eyed him warily and one motioned out the door. He followed and spent the next ten minutes finalizing the next stage of his plan. Being contained and under suspicion was no more than he could expect and did not interfere too much for what he had in mind.

It did come as a surprise to Loki, now wearing his Asgardian coat and matching black leather attire, that he was to be visited so soon by Agent Romanoff. To be caught off guard twice in the same day, and by the same person, was almost unprecedented. He also found it distasteful that it was a woman who had done so. However, if his plan was to succeed, he would have to stop underestimating her. It was also slightly disconcerting that she had now been stood at the doorway for several minutes in absolute silence. This must be some Midgardian interrogation technique, and not one he would allow himself to succumb to.

When he looked away to consider any minute faults in the starkly decorated room (how many times would he be forced to describe it thusly? Did S.H.I.E.L.D. not impose some new style regulations upon seizing the building for their purposes?) Loki commented almost without realizing, "Does Stark have no taste in surroundings whatsoever? This place would look more interesting with several holes in the walls." He leant back on a chair to rest his head on the wall presumably in need of the holes.

"Am I to take that as 'suspicious behaviour', Mr. Odinson?" Romanoff asked.

He tilted his head forward to speak, "Testing my patience will not aid you."

She closed her eyes briefly in a wide smile. "Well, then. I came to check up on you. Settled in?"

He trusted her about as far as he could throw her, which did not turn out to describe the situation accurately as, upon reflection, he estimated he could throw her quite far indeed. "One could infer, Ms. Romanoff, that you are being rather friendly with a known hostile, as I think you would say."

"A known hostile with useful, potentially life-saving information. Many lives. Courtesy costs you nothing."

"Really? You would be courteous to a man who compromised a very close friend of yours, destroyed most of this city, and repeatedly stated his intention to rule your entire race? You would be respectful to that person."

She raised an eyebrow, waiting for him to finish but did not offer a rebuttal when he did. Black Widow stood and Loki sat in the resumed quiet. It would have been silence save for the pair of agents stationed outside the room engaging in some small discussion. From the muffled sounds, the topic could have been anything. This lasted until Loki's composure broke once more.

"Why are you here, in truth?" He was finding it difficult to strike a balance between acting as he would normally (as would be expected) and progressing towards a more amicable, hopefully disarming guise.

"If I had an ulterior motive, you would not be able to force it out of me with any tool at your disposal."

Another question along the lines of 'Are you so sure?' nearly spilled out, but he had no immediate desire to be shown up a fool yet again, intriguing though he found the incident in the elevator: both her extraordinary reflexes and his own lack of retaliation. The day, though mostly within reasonable bounds, held some thought-provoking moments already.


	3. Gift Shop

Two days later while walking down West 53rd, Loki marvelled at how easily S.H.I.E.L.D. let him go.

"Things need doing. I will return when I am finished," he remarked to Agent Maria Hill, not very surprised that Coulson had been easily replaced.

"Of course! I'll inform Director Fury," she replied. "If you let us know when you next plan to grace us with your presence, we'll prepare a complementary tea and biscuit party."

"You are very funny," he said with no humour in his voice. "These witty exchanges _always_ encourage me to risk myself for this planet's inhabitants to gather information."

"You're laughable yourself. We have others willing to do the same with less whining." Loki calmed himself with the thought that, as soon as was possible, this particular fool would be the first to go. Were it not so delicate, he might have tried to move the plan forward more quickly to this end.

The S.H.I.E.L.D. agents tailing him were almost subtle but it was still an offense that they assumed he would accept such constraints on his movements. Upon entering the MoMA's design store, he took a considered approach to each shelf and aisle to examine every object on display. The agents watching only saw him leave with a bag about half an hour later. Then they had to call HQ and try to explain how they lost him. Apparently, "The bastard went into an elevator in the museum and disappeared. No, he didn't press the button! He turned into the elevator, we walked past and he was gone!" wasn't a good enough explanation.

With a smirk, Loki reappeared outside a building on the Upper East Side, fully aware of the chaos he just caused. He was sure no one was watching anymore when he entered the building, which made the unexpected appearance of a young, strong-looking doorman all the more startling.

When Loki offered no information, the doorman (whose nametag read "Zachary Johnson") prodded, "And you would be...?"

"Here to meet—" He spied an intercom button marked 'Nadine Roman', "Ms. Roman. I am Loki and she should be expecting me." The slight emphasis on 'should' was not lost on Mr. Johnson.

"Alright." Mr. Johnson pressed the button a bit more roughly than necessary. "Miss Roman, someone by the name of Loki says you _should_ be expecting him." The doorman's look was enough to give the impression he clearly did not agree with this.

"What a surprise. He's early." an alert-sounding 'Nadine' answered through the tinny speaker. Mr. Johnson looked genuinely annoyed by this revelation, and the eerie smile Loki gave him did not improve his mood.

"As elegant as this vestibule may be, I hope it would not be too forward to suggest your abode might be more comfortable. I had thought it more polite to call ahead rather than to appear unannounced," he suggested while leaning towards the electronic pad.

"Door's open," came the response. He saw the troubled doorman press a button, heard a low buzz and found the glass door to the stairway now unlocked. On her floor, he found her apartment door open and Natasha not quite glaring at him from her sofa.

"Is it worth my time to ask why you're here?"

"Your employers are not yet aware that I am."

She raised an eyebrow, as he was quickly observing was one of her favourite expressions. "Why are you holding a bag from MoMA's design shop?"

"I find myself in the unusual position of wanting to give you a gift." The other eyebrow went up.

"And why would that be?"

"To a certain extent, you have compelled me to respect you and your abilities."

"I could make you actually respect me. You'll know when because the feeling will be completely alien."

"I admire your confidence, but you would never manoeuvre me into a position where you could force me to do anything. As I said, I respect your abilities, but I am somewhat inclined to think the incident on the airship was an accident."

"Of course, I get by on luck and your plan failed because your tactics were amazing. You're very persuasive."

"Must we always quarrel?"

"Only when you're wrong. Didn't seem so smug when I had you pinned in the elevator. Shall we try that again?"

He chortled quietly, "Do you not want to find out what my gift is before you threaten me?"

"If it's an 'I heart NY' shirt, I will eviscerate you myself."

"Yes, what to get one of this world's top assassins? Such dull attire was at the very height of my ideas, I assure you," he replied dismissively and reached in the bag to pull out a package. He was pleased not to observe her tense as he did so. Maybe she was starting to trust him already? That was too wistful for Loki; he would have to remain focused. "I had the human at the counter wrap it in an attractive paper in case you would appreciate a slight challenge."

She took the package and deliberated for a moment before struggling with the wrapping. It took a few minutes to open it ("I asked her to wrap it well, but had no idea she was trying to protect it from an axe-blow," Loki murmured almost to himself). Natasha was more than a little bemused when she freed an eight-inch ballerina from its box. She gestured at it with an odd expression.

"It does have a function I rather thought you would find useful, or at the very least amusing."

She examined the figure more carefully and prodded at various accessories. Eventually, she noticed a slot along the side. "It's a knife sharpener?"

"Yes. I am partial to knives myself and thought you might like to try them if you were looking for a new weapon. They are quite versatile. The gift itself was the most appropriate I could find."

She looked from the ballerina to him and back. "Anything from anywhere in the universe and you get a knife sharpener?"

"The whole universe? That is quite a range. Disappearing from the city entirely would be a little suspicious for my surveillance team. Speaking of which, I should create another clone by now. Having those idiotic agents swarm about the museum has been fun, but I do not want my next meeting with your employer to be held with me in restraints. It is just not 'me'."

"Can't be too far away from your clones, how useful."

"I could, but it is always good to be nearby in case anyone should notice something amiss." He waved his hand in the air flippantly.

Natasha carried the figurine into the kitchen and grabbed a knife. She looked pleased to see Loki tense when she did so. After sharpening it to some extent, she swiped it in the air a few times and surprised her guest by suddenly throwing it less than an inch past his head into an old pillow. "Yes," she nearly hissed, nodding at him with a pointed look, "It works well. I might use knives more often. Thanks." When he stood in stunned silence, she began again, "What do you want to drink?"

He was trying ineffectively to hide a deer-in-the-headlights look while slumping into a chair facing away from the kitchen. "Hot chocolate, please."

"Have something against coffee?"

"I know not whether it would have any effect and would prefer not to test it. We do not have coffee beans..." he trailed off. He found the bubbling water and 'thunk' sounds from cups being taken out pleasantly and confusingly relaxing: pleasant since it might indicate she was not about to throw another knife; and confusing as these sounds were not ones he was particularly used to hearing. Though, the intimate sounds were comforting and reminded him of something. He was drawn from his reverie by the rapid introduction of a steaming cup covering most of his field of vision. "Thank you, it smells delicious."

"Well, this is novel."

"Why ever so? Is it not traditional on Earth to give gifts, or to bond socially over drinks?"

"Sure. But given that we are still enemies regardless of the threat from bigger, badder enemies on some distant planet—"

"Of which your people would be unaware without my intervention and perhaps you should be grateful."

"Perhaps so, but our need to work together now in no way erases your previous attacks on this city let alone the rest of the planet. Is this your way of making amends for your past actions?"

"Would it change your opinion of me if it were?"

"It can be irritating to answer questions with questions."

"I will bear that in mind, my lady," he replied with a beatific smile.

"That helmet you wear," she almost whispered, "with those big _long_ horns: are you compensating for something?" Natasha's abrupt topic change caused Loki to freeze for a moment.

"Would you like to find out?"

"Oh my god, are your cheeks turning blue?"

"Enjoy your gift," he commanded as he made a swift exit, scaring the hell out of the doorman.


	4. Mothering

It was while stalking the streets of Manhattan (possibly not the best idea given his utter lack of disguise) and coordinating his clone to disappear somewhere innocuous that Loki was trying to think of something, _anything_ other than the shameless look of a cat playing with a mouse Natasha last goaded him with. Really, was there any topic of which these humans were unwilling to speak? Any thoughts directly unrelated kept incomprehensibly trailing back to her and her irreverent manner, so he directed them towards S.H.I.E.L.D. and the story he was weaving about these "Kybant".

The inspiration came from stories he remembered as a child. He could not recall whether they were dreams, tales, or histories, nor did Loki particularly care. Were the humans to ask Thor, and he to answer, it would be unlikely the younger he had paid enough attention to tell them anything of use. The Kybants' predecessors were long, furry creatures with distended limbs, lacking any semblance of their charming ancestors. The name of this half-remembered species would return in time, but even if it did not, it was inconsequential to his designs.

One particular tale that refused to be forgotten regarded their skill with magic and individually low abilities to alter reality. It began, as these things frequently did, with a disobedient child. The sister of several others, all the usual routes for a female of these beings (warrior, sorcerer, leader...) had been taken except 'mother'. This next-to-youngest had always been wilful (the meaning of her name, Chitoba) and did not want to mother. However, she was chosen to carry on the familial line. Skilled in magic and once of age, she decided to create her offspring rather than bear it or them herself. To cover the fact that her body had no toll taken from gestation, Chitoba used her highest level of magic to modify her tribe's perception; the Kamore were unaware of the deception until a stranger came to the people's home. By then, the child Baruka had grown to the age when abilities to control magic would usually surface.

The stranger saw though the spell and said nothing at first, only observing the situation. Baruka's otherness was apparent upon witnessing what would normally have been a fatal accident; this brought to light the child's ability to recreate itself. The magic used in creation had been amplified and used by the child in combination with its own. When trying to tell the Kamore elders, they responded with threats to remove the outsider. The pleas to act became more insistent up to the day of the stranger's disappearance.

As time passed, concerns raised over the maternal pair were soon forgotten, but some hint of suspicion had already cracked the spell's surface. Certain members of the tribe who looked at Chitoba or Baruka too closely might find themselves far removed from the community, if they were lucky. Tales of the struggles to return were carried back on the winds and at gatherings between tribes.

Eventually, Chitoba knew it was her child's doing but protected Baruka by saying nothing. The strange occurrences only fuelled distrust between the tribe and her family. Various versions accounted for what followed by the casual remark of the mother or a small altercation at the yearly festival of peace and goodwill. Baruka felt threatened and destroyed the village in such a way that Chitoba awoke the next morning to find no trace of its existence. No records existed to trace her and the child's path after this.

Many of the written accounts attributed malicious meaning to her initial act of defiance, continued deceit, and assumed lack of remorse. Loki was always more interested in what particular methods she used to trick them and how they were sustained for so many years. With magic enough to change the perception of her entire village and at such a young age, Chitoba's magical prowess was clearly enough for her to have become a strong sorcerer in her own right. Ironically, her maternal actions carried on her tribe's legacy long after its destruction. In that way, she became more of a mother than ever she would have had she followed her family's counsel.

Loki never ascribed much importance to her motivations, and he sometimes found it strange that he would remember this, of all the stories he knew of them, above all others regardless of its irrelevance. Then again, it would be a fine tale to impart to any humans he might be trying to court, however ribald they might be. He had concluded from several sources that telling stories of this sort might be considered romantic, though with Ms. Romanoff in mind a more violent theme could bring him more success. Or perhaps she preferred to entirely ignore her profession when possible? An amusing image of her reading a book about flowers while stroking a kitten appeared in his mind's eye, causing him to laugh quietly and attract the attention of a few onlookers. Half recognized him immediately and looked terrified, and the other half started staring with admiring looks.

As he had been absent-mindedly meandering along unregarded streets and avenues, Loki surreptitiously scanned around for any pursuers. As expected, the inept pair from the museum shop had caught up even after being left cloneless a few blocks away. He decided to return to S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters to ease any negotiations since the humans would feel that they had more power knowing where he was. He also promised himself that, should he run into Thor, he would pretend to be distractedly in love – though not even hinting as to whom, not just yet - and refuse to answer any questions. Obstinate though his once-brother was, Loki knew his limits and Thor would not pester him for hours on end. Not _anymore_ at any rate.

"So, what's a god with plans to take over the world doing in a gift shop? I just can't see you buying _tchotchkes_; doesn't really seem like your thing." It had not even been five minutes since Loki entered his cell (much though it seemed to have been crudely decorated to dispel that notion since his walk) before Tony Stark made himself known, gesturing with martini in hand. Somehow, this human managed the feat of being _more _irksome than his once-brother.

"Were it your privilege to know, you would know," he grumbled. He held his forehead in one hand, leaning against a wall.

"Ooh! Someone's touchy! See, the thing is: it's my building. Used to have my name on it in fact until... Oh yeah, _you_ tore it off. Or maybe it was your half-assed army of scaly dudes. Don't remember, but you're here 'cuz we haven't booted you out and zapped you back to Asgard yet, so don't get snippy with me."

"Human, I could snap you into pieces."

"So why don't you? Not wearing my suit." When Loki made no move to get up from his chair, Tony kept talking. "Oh right, yeah. Since, if you do, you'll be shot or something, right? Great. So answer my question or I won't shut up for hours. You know I'm just stubborn enough to do it, so it's not an empty threat." The pained and obvious aggravation on Loki's face contrasted with the wilful cockiness on Tony's in the quiet interim. "Alright, this morning I woke up and had a piece of toast. Well, that's a lie: it was burnt bread and before that, I had some potatoes reheated in the microwave first, but it turns out I broke it at some point and never got around to fixing it. So, like, twenty minutes later, I realized I was still hungry because Pepper came in and-"

"Shut up, just shut up! You imbecile, what does one buy in a pitiful excuse for a gift shop?" he waved his arms outward in a sudden, impatient movement.

"Burgers?"

"A gift! How in any realm have you survived this long? Why did your mother not eat you at birth?"

"Because I'm not a scorpion, I guess. Also, who's it for?"

"What?"

"The gift. Who do you even know that would accept something from you, much less enjoy it? Hell, who do you know that you like enough to give something to? You're pretty weird. It puts people on edge."

"Who sent you here to torment me? I am here of my own volition, so leave. I promise not to destroy the furniture if you go."

"You did say my taste in decorating was horrible and threatened to break the walls. That's just mean, and also breaking things in my own house is my job."

"This is your house?"

"Yep, I did say it used to have my name on it. Before you ruined it. And my aesthetic taste is fine. If you look at the walls outside, they're plain white. Very bright, improves mood and productivity."

"_Yggdrasil_, let a lesser limb collapse and kill me now."

"Isn't that a tree? Thor's been telling us a bit about you guys' history and stuff—"

"What is the price of your absence?"

"_Who_ is the _gift_'s _recipient_?"

"Guess, Tony of the infinite words."

"See, I don't like guessing. You'll string me along for a couple names and then pick one randomly, swearing up and down it's right."

"How unfortunate to have my plan laid bare by an inferior being. LEAVE!" Loki shouted, surprising both of them. His hands had balled into fists without his realizing.

"That's just plain rude. What could I possibly have done to deserve that?" The intense look Tony was given gave him pause. "I don't have to waste sophisticated insults on you. I just want to know one thing and I'll go away..." Another long pause later, he continued, "So, after twenty minutes, Pepper came in and asked why I wasn't—"

Loki opened his hands into claws and they began to glow dark orange when Agent Maria Hill walked in. She surveyed them both before sighing and saying, "Play nice, you two." Tony stopped to say hello before continuing his monologue.

Loki made an effort to calm himself, but soon failed, saying, "I have risked life and limb for you people. Yet I find myself surrounded by idiots and women!"

Agent Hill glanced at the god before turning to Tony and saying, "We need you up top; they said it's about abnormal energy readings. If you're quite finished..."

The building's owner waved and smirked at Loki, "_Ciao_, babe."

Once he was gone, she asked, "What do you have against women anyway?" His simmering silence prompted a sudden idea. "Oh! I get it! I'll send Will in, you can flirt with him."

Loki rubbed his forehead. "Are all humans obsessed with their genitals?"

"Fine, whatever. I won't send Will. Too bad, he's really hot... I'd do him."


	5. A Night of Firsts

As revenge for 'allowing that man-pest to assault his ears for any length of time,' Loki had the feasible excuse not to specify the Kybant's particular location. "Your technology is so scant that it would be far more productive to plan for the eventuality that they invade instead of even attempt to construct your own interstellar transport. Really, the extent of your exploration is your own, quite pitiful moon? Howsoever was I defeated?" His eye-rolling and contemptuous tone were not well received by any of the agents around an identical table as in their first meeting, chiefly Director Fury. His right hand, Maria Hill, was still amused from their last encounter, enough not to take his insults – or him – too seriously.

Fury responded with, "So, in the astronomically unlikely event that we were to take your advice as anything more than a suggestion," at this, Loki smiled at something, unnerving all others present, "you would have us take the same actions we did _last time_ there was an alien invasion?"

He shrugged in response. "It worked, did it not?"

Fury was about to say something when he pressed a hand to his earpiece and said to Hill, "I have to deal with Stark. You got this?" She nodded and he left without a backward glance. This turn of events seemed odd to the alien, but Loki found himself paying far more attention than was wise to Agent Romanoff, little though she actually offered throughout the two-hour ordeal. As per usual, he had not a hint as to what she was thinking and this was starting to become infuriating.

His refusal to give any location for the Kybant on account of Stark's conduct was not taken well. "I ask that you limit Mr. Stark's interaction where I am concerned."

"You? Politely asking for something? It must be the end of the world," Agent Hill commented, chuckling.

"I find it tiresome that he imitates being a real scientist."

"He built his own synchrotron and rediscovered a new element; at the very least he's a real engineer. That's ignoring the suit."

"You people only recently discovered the force carrier of mass! And some of your less educated species members even refer to it as a 'god particle'. How can you call anything Stark does science? Like a child, he continues to experiment with the same variables but expects a different result."

Maria spat, "You know he's an ass because he likes pissing people off, especially you."

"Even so, I would prefer not to be required to withhold information simply for a tolerable environment."

"So, you're going to throw a hissy fit because everything isn't exactly how you want it?"

"My request is not so taxing," Loki said, grinding his teeth, "that even you would find it difficult to carry out. In fact, I would go so far as to request not to deal with you, either."

"Is there anyone you _can_ deal with?"

He curled his lip. "Anyone you care to name. I am merely saying that I prefer not to babysit halfwits."

"You know what? You remind me of my teenage brother, only more childish."

"I assure you that, when I rule this forsaken rock, you will be the first to go. Your shrewish nature will be forgotten along with everyone else I find irritating, allowing that only people I choose will remain."

"Really?" It was the first thing Black Widow had said to him directly for the better part of a week, albeit with a cynical expression and arms folded. Loki turned to face her head-on.

"Yes, Natasha. I would rather... spend time with people like you, than those of Stark's ilk."

"You want to rule everyone of any 'ilk'."

"Dead people make poor subjects."

"How considerate," Black Widow said with a flat stare. The meeting was adjourned shortly thereafter.

Loki waited around the room after the S.H.I.E.L.D. agents had all dispersed. Black Widow had left the Avengers' tower and walked into his field of vision. He moved into the closest camera's blind spot and teleported to a hidden recess in the tower's exterior before catching up with her. She turned around before he was closer than twenty feet.

"Do you want me to bow?"

"I do hope you will excuse my performance earlier. It would not do to have them think we were getting too friendly, what with giving gifts _and_ acting strangely."

"Yes: talking right outside the building, unrecorded, is perfectly normal."

"As far as anyone else is concerned, you are talking to a well-dressed stranger. Walk with me?" She started walking, he followed.

"An enchantment?"

"Of sorts. It is more akin to suggestion, to which I find humans are remarkably susceptible."

"Is it physically impossible for you to go five minutes without insulting someone, or an entire race of 'someone's?"

Loki was startled by her abrupt statement, leaning away slightly. "Err, my apologies."

"It gets boring."

He relaxed and continued, "Maybe I would not insult them if they did not display traits I find inferior." Natasha looked at him with an expression he could not define but said nothing. "You have exceeded your origins and I would not hold you to the same expectations... I should clarify that while I find most humans repellent, punctuated by a few we could both name who are in fact repugnant, I do not wish to place you among them."

"I'm inhuman?" she straightened her shoulders.

"Hmm. Humans dislike that word. Perhaps 'otherworldly' would better suit?" he suggested.

"Are you trying to complement me?"

"Yes. I find your life-taking skills alluring."

"Very romantic."

"Do you dance?"

"Depends."

"Ballroom? Or recently I have thought tango would be more appropriate."

"You put some thought into this."

"Of course," he let himself smile genuinely at this remark.

The pair found a suitable dance studio on Lafayette Street. He wore the same suit from when he graced Stuttgart with his presence, and she wore a knee length red dress - stretching to almost ankle length behind her legs - with no back save for three strings holding the front in place. Loki could not help noticing Natasha's curves but thought any real trace of attraction would lend credence to his act. He decided to play to his villain image. "My dear, you look good enough to eat."

"Do I?" Natasha asked innocently, looking up at him. There was just something about her tone... "Don't blush in public. I don't think blue matches your scarf," she said, smiling and pointing to the green article in question. Her companion let out a small cough and looked away for a moment.

"On Asgard, we do not _only_ think of such relations." The slight quaver in his voice on 'we' must have been obvious.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

At this, he looked quizzical. Before he could respond, they were approached by a trim, casually-dressed man who had been assisting other dancers. "Good afternoon, I'm Theodore and I'll be your instructor for today. Have you two danced before?" he asked genially, gesturing to the varnished wooden floor.

"Yes," Natasha answered without hesitation. Loki raised his eyebrows momentarily before looking at Theodore.

"Okay, well the tango starts in ten. If you need anything, I'll be making the rounds to the other couples throughout the evening. Don't worry about the steps, just enjoy the dance!" He gave Loki another look he could not decipher but, regardless, seemed to emit a palpable feeling of wanting them to have fun. Humans and their absurd expressions.

"So, have you tangoed before?"

"I have danced, but not this variety. However, I have researched extensively and it would seem my role is to showcase the woman..."

"First time you've said 'woman' without sneering," the assassin noted.

"Indeed, the first that I would showcase one. It will be a night of firsts."

"Will it?"

He cleared his throat abruptly. "Some tricks only work once."

"Do they?"

"Human, I could separate you into your constituent particles and scatter them about suns your people do not even know exist."

"I could make you disappear before you knew I wanted to kill you."

Eventually, Theodore returned to greet them personally and inform them of the time ("As you seemed to be in a world of your own," he explained with the same odd glance, at Natasha this time. Loki felt a stirring of something new and identified it as jealousy; of course. She was his, or would be soon enough. Who was this 'Theodore' to intrude?). Loki held out his hand to her, and they walked slowly to the centre of the dance floor. When they took the position - his right hand above her waist, her left on his shoulder since he was much taller, and holding hands – the former prince became acutely aware of how low cut her dress was.

They stood close, stiffly embraced for a moment before Loki spoke again, in a lower voice than before. "Traditionally the man leads, though I did happen upon a version where the woman lead... if you would prefer. I would capitulate now to save kicked shins later."

"If you're _willing_," she said with a wicked grin, "then yes, I would prefer."


	6. Such Relations

Their first dance was a little clumsy, due to Loki's inability to calculate her next move (though he could have sworn she was enjoying him being off-balance). They both agreed Loki would lead first, for him to get used to the motions of the tango. Natasha was not making it easy. She waited until the last moment to move in a different way, shifting her weight onto her front foot while leaning backward, nearly tripping him as he jerked back to allow her space.

He chose the tango specifically for her to be close to him. It required much contact between the partners, but he had not taken into consideration that he might find himself... compromised. He had been looking forward to being able to focus solely on her dancing when they went for the flamenco later. His agility was being tested and the next dance would give him a break from her unrelenting drive to physically outwit him.

After a few minutes, Loki felt Natasha's arm drop from his shoulder to his waist and she nudged his arm up to her shoulder. "I thought we had agreed that I would lead...?" he prompted and pulled her down to catch him, letting a hand ghost across the smooth skin of her back. She stepped back, dropping her arms to her hips as she looked up at him.

"Until you were used to it. If you have time to be distracted, you're used to it." They both stepped forward to resume the embrace: her hand on his waist; and his on her shoulder.

"I was fully focused on moving in time, I assure you." Loki hooked a leg under then behind hers and back more jerkily than was practical.

"It's my job to know when people aren't paying attention. You weren't, so I'm leading." Natasha threw him around more than necessary and struck a pose in time to sultry music. He posed as well, then crouched and pulled her back.

"Do you take as much pleasure from the other aspects of your job?" he asked before stepping backwards to the side, pulling her along. She gave a little resistance.

"I enjoy being good at what I do," she answered in guarded tone, crossing a leg in front of his so he trailed his foot in a semicircle above the floor and then along her leg.

Maybe it was her phrasing or the tone but something in what she said made him smile, and not in a pleasant way. Natasha dipped him so she could hear him more easily. "Do you enjoy..." he began, conscious of the other dancers who might catch a word or a phrase, "using the gift I gave you in a way that would be useful in your line of work?" He enjoyed her soft curves pressing his chest.

"I'm not following." She pulled him up, taking the opportunity to feel his chest. In the back of his mind, Loki took note of her strength. More visibly, he stroked the side of her dress.

"No, you are not, are you? How stubborn. You must understand what I ask since plainer language would not benefit us were I to be overheard," he swivelled his hips, holding her gaze.

"I understand. And no. But it _is_ what I'm good at," she pushed him back slightly and he trailed a leg around and back, pulling their arms up all to strike another pose.

"I think you are lying. There is a part of you that admires my ability to go wherever I like and 'work' to my heart's content. I have certainly done far more of it." He high-kicked behind her and ran his leg along hers. His shows of agility were drawing a bit of attention from other women and a few men, envious of either partner.

"Quantity versus quality, Loki." She turned him away and pushed him up by his hips while he kicked backward and landed kneeling, while grasping one of her hands.

"What quality can there be 'working' with these people? My father was a warrior and a king. To slay was to rule." He pulled her hand close to kiss it.

"And you are neither, without any real need to 'work'." Natasha pushed him again, turning away.

"Are we sparring partners now? I was under the impression that we were dancing, Natasha." He pulled her back with the gentlest of tugs, they embraced and both lowered to the floor very slowly; the pair rose gracefully as the music ended.

"Can't we be both?" He raised an eyebrow, continually surprised by her line of thought. She feigned slapping him so he made of a show of being hurt and offended, even going so far as to wipe away an imaginary tear. "Drama queen!" She grabbed him and they continued dancing.

As the next tango started, an idea struck him. He had during his research come across a phenomenon (by no means exclusive to humans) that intrigued him. He was sure it would interest his partner, too. So he sung in her ear, "_I ache for the touch of your lips, dear, but much more for the touch of your __**whips**__, dear_." She smiled and started throwing him around more vigorously. Neither noticed the other couples giving them a bit more space, nor would they care.

By the time he got to "_Your eyes cast a spell that bewitches. Last time I needed twenty stitches_", the music from the band was dying down and he had to stop this tantalising suggestion. For now. "Regarding our earlier discussion, Asgardians do not think only of 'such relations'. Were you my queen, I am not sure I could satisfy your appetites considering how often you bring them up."

"Maybe, are you sure you want a queen smarter than yourself?" The band began playing the first slow notes of the next song. Loki and Natasha moved in time effortlessly as it sped up.

"You have already shown that you are quite able to lead," he said wryly, sidestepping her literally and figuratively.

"And any..." she mused and leaned in closer, "Are children even viable?"

"You are considering it, so yes." He smiled broadly.

"Hmm. Considering children and marriage on the first date: definitely a night of firsts." He stilled himself to listen to her heartbeat quicken. "Should we go somewhere more... intimate?"

Loki's vision blurred and he lost the warm feeling of Natasha's hand and shoulders. He heard strained voices in an unfamiliar language on all sides. As his eyes readjusted to a dull light, one voice addressed him in a Midgardian tongue, "You have something I need. Give it to me." It came from a dark shape distorting the impossibly thick fog.

"How dare you interrupt! You have no right to take me. I know not of what you ask and if I _did_ have it, I would bludgeon you to death with the accursed thing!" Other shapes had been shivering but now stilled.

"I have not moved you, loud one. I will take what I need from you." The dark shape came closer and a face appeared covered in pale striped fur, with eyes that had purple sclera and green irises. The blurriness returned with high-pitched buzzing. All at once, he was back in the dance studio looking around in confusion. When he turned to Natasha, the alien's face flashed instead and he stiffened.

"First time? Don't worry, I'll be gentle," she promised. One or two other dancers were looking at him oddly, almost squinting to see him more clearly.

"You'll have to excuse me." He teleported away from the dance floor to consider his most recent abduction.

"...the hell?" Her phone rang before Loki had entirely disappeared.


	7. Dalliance

Loki created a clone before leaving the studio, realizing he very much wanted to keep an eye on his Romanoff. He teleported to somewhere out of the way to contemplate recent events but was quickly drawn to his emissary's observations.

As Natasha answered her phone, she strode across the floor. Weaving in between the pairs seemed to be second nature despite some dancers openly gawking. Loki's ostentatious exit had not gone unnoticed, but his spurned partner ignored everyone else there. Except... there was a passing moment when she glanced across the room and met the eyes of his clone. There was no way she could have seen through its disguise: a mature woman in the same attire as the other patrons, sharing only colouring and approximate build with its originator. The clone moved to follow her, eavesdropping on her conversation.

"...Yes. I was in the neighbourhood, and I haven't seen anything unexpected. Oh? Interesting, I've been here the whole time. Dance class. Alright, see you then. I'll be out front." The pause between each sentence suggested that the person on the other end was firing a barrage of quick questions. At the end, Natasha collected her bag from reception and dropped her phone into it. Loki wondered where she had been carrying it until then. This lead to thoughts he would have happily pursued further had a large black SUV not pulled up in front of Natasha. He was only mildly surprised to see Director Fury step out. Loki positioned his female lookalike across the studio's entrance only to be irritated by a number of couples leaving in a hurry, both blocking his view and reducing what he could hear. She could only see four S.H.I.E.L.D. agents appear with technical equipment and enter the building through the crowd.

"You _are_ entitled to a life. You are _not_ entitled to coincidences," Fury said.

"Fine, I was here with Loki. I don't think he's a threat. It's obvious whatever happened had something to do with him, but there's no way he planned it." Natasha began.

"Sir?" One of the agents from inside the building who returned outside interrupted. "The folks back at base say there have been no new changes from the atomic clocks. The energy readings here are almost completely gone."

"Almost?" Fury asked.

"The spike was instantaneous and left no identifiable trace. If we hadn't already been looking for it, it would not have been detected."

"Natasha, let's hold off on the part where I rip you a new one for not disclosing pertinent information until I have the time to do it properly. What happened?"

"I don't know; he shimmered or something and then he said he had to leave."

"Did he 'shimmer' for any noticeable time period?" the agent prompted.

"No. I blinked when it happened so he just looked a bit fuzzy. Then he disappeared."

Fury exhaled, then said, "I want you debriefed immediately," to Natasha and, "I want you to find Loki and haul his leather-obsessed ass in, too," to the unfortunate agent. Loki took that as his cue to dissolve his clone, and then seized the opportunity to breathe deeply.

So Natasha had not mentioned their dalliance before this? He was not desperately concerned that S.H.I.E.L.D. knew of his reaction since they were unaware of its cause. However, he was concerned that it was not a hallucination. Thinking that horrific creature would haunt him as he slipped into insanity was not pleasant, but neither was being hunted and all the while knowing that it was real. Its resemblance to his descriptions of the Kybant was no comfort. It only raised further questions. Loki's plan regarding Black Widow, from what now felt like an eternity ago, was rapidly unravelling.

He would have to meet with her employers soon, if only to allay suspicion about himself. The next meeting with Fury would be eventful either way... To what end would she not mention it? He returned to his previous thought, with a vague feeling his preoccupation with her might be becoming unhealthy. Had his plan begun to work more quickly than he had anticipated? There was still the possibility Natasha was playing a role, as she had been in their rather distasteful chat on the airship. If so, she played it marvellously. But he would have noticed, _especially_ given his experience with her skills; he would not allow her to make a fool of him again.

To the matter at hand: appearing where they could question him so soon after their discussion would raise suspicions. It would be prudent to say Fury was attuned to 'coincidences' tonight. Given their utter lack of information Loki knew they would want him contained, not that they could manage it. (Gods forbid they sentence him to life in a locked room with Stark; he was not sure there would be enough of his corpse left to find the next morning.) Any escape would then be treated as hostility, of course. Humans could be so predictable, and troublesome.

After a relatively short deliberation, Loki decided to keep up the farce as if this unsettling new enemy discovered his spying and now sought retribution. His instincts were telling him that this phenomenon was well-timed, but reflection would have to wait as would reasoning why the humans should aid him if even a partial truth should come to light. He teleported outside the avengers' tower after waiting for what he deemed to be a suitable amount of time, appearing carefully dishevelled though not entirely by his own effort. His suit has suffered some damage presumably due to that strange meeting. Loki was saved from explaining his presence by a tall woman in S.H.I.E.L.D. uniform who approached him first, "You're expected. Follow me, please." _Courtesy costs you nothing_, rang in his ears from an earlier conversation with her co-worker. He was becoming too distractible and would have to change this immediately.

The agent whisked him through security and up the elevator without a word. It was only at the door (identical to every other in the building, out seemed) that she broke the silence. "Aren't you going to ask about Natasha?"

"What of her?"

"Nevermind. Director Fury instructed me to have you wait here," she said, opening the door and gesturing to a large, mostly empty room. "Can I get you anything while you wait?"

"I would seek counsel with Thor."

"Alright, I'll have a look around for the big guy. Sit tight." As the door was closing, he heard her say, "Hi, Will! Could you-?" How curious her footsteps and speech did not carry inside the room once closed off.

Loki took a chair on the side of the door's hinge, comfortable in the silence. His thoughts wandered to the young agent's pointed remark about Natasha. So the whole organization knew? No matter, unless it affected her opinion in particular. If she were in any danger, the agent would have been more agitated. Her acting abilities were not on par with those of... he supposed he should call her his 'date', or perhaps 'partner'. He was cut short by the bang of the door opening.

"I came as soon as I heard, brother! I am happy for you," Thor enthused with a wide grin.

Not entirely sure what he was on about, Loki asked bluntly, "What do you remember of the stories we were told as children?"

Thor looked confused, but kept smiling. "Well, I always liked 'The Littlest Bilgesnipe', but—"

"Any about long creatures with fur? They were naturally skilled with magic." Loki waved his hand to mask himself as the elongated face from his vision.

"They looked like that?" After Loki nodded, Thor thought for a while. "I can remember little of them, but yes. I think they were the Kybru? They were loyal, until something happened. But you must remember them better than I since you preferred those stories."

"Kybant," Loki said, dispelling the image.

"Yes! That was it." Thor stopped smiling and looked concerned. "Why do you ask?"

"If that is all you remember then you are of no use to me."

"Brother, I will aid you in any way I can."

"You cannot: this is my battle," he declared. As Loki stood up, he felt a sharp stab of pain across his temple, blurring his sight. He could feel himself being pulled in every direction. "I will see you again," he forced through gritted teeth before edging around the Asgardian. Once out of the room, darkness engulfed him.


	8. A Moment in Bed

Loki awoke suddenly on an unfamiliar soft surface surrounded by a sweet scent. He heard muffled traffic and occasional sounds of conversation. When he opened his eyes, he saw soft curves on light green and off-white furniture to match the bedding. Loki looked up at the sounds of water splashing from the bathroom, almost immediately replaced by the door opening with a gust of steam. His gaze was met by Natasha in a fuzzy white bathrobe. He felt his mouth twitch. "Why am I here?"

"I was hoping you'd tell me that." She sat on a small chair in front of a mirror and started brushing her hair.

"I have no time for your games, woman. What did you do?"

"You're the one who appeared in my house and collapsed on my floor."

After a pause, Natasha put down the brush and Loki asked, "If I had collapsed, why am I now in your bed?"

"It's more comfortable." She pulled her hair into a ponytail, with its tips already curling.

"You must have done something."

"As if I'd have to roofie someone into my bed," she sighed and rolled her eyes.

"I will find my answers elsewhere." He swung his legs off the bed and was chagrined to find he was only partially clothed. His casual leather attire reappeared immediately, but he made no move to leave the bed.

"And the helmet?" Natasha prodded, turning to face him.

"Quiet. I think well when you are silent."

"I'm distracting. Should I be flattered?" She moved to a nearby dresser and pulled out a black sleeveless shirt and matching trousers.

"You should be flattered I allow you to remain alive."

"Loki, we've been through this before," she replied in a conciliatory tone, pulling a belt off a door handle, "you'd be dead before you tried."

"And how would you feel if another killed me first, Natasha?"

"Making friends everywhere you go..." She considered for a moment, "I'd track them down and take revenge. Who's my target?" As before, he felt a stab of pain though much less in magnitude. "Are you going to keep lying to me or give it up?"

He was momentarily distracted by her adjusting her robe's belt. "What?" he mumbled.

"Acting like an idiot doesn't suit you."

"_Valhalla_, a compliment!"

She blinked slowly at him. "Listening past the techno-babble from Tony, he was angry that he couldn't understand the readings his machines were giving last night. Your face after whatever happened was not the face of someone in control. You may not trust S.H.I.E.L.D.—"

"And for what reason, precisely, should I trust you, my _lady_?"

She waited until he was done and continued in exactly the same tone as earlier. "You may not trust S.H.I.E.L.D. but it might be your only ally. Of course, you will do something stupid eventually." Her expression of disdain made her expectation clear.

He inhaled sharply. "There was a..." he crinkled his nose, "creature. One of the Kybant. It claimed to have noticed my spying and had taken me somewhere else to speak."

"Hm." She was impassive as always. So Loki took a risk.

"More than that, it wanted something from me. The idiotic thing was oddly nonspecific so I have no idea what, but more humans than I care to count will be useless in finding the creature or what it wants."

"What happened after the dance?" She arranged her outfit on the bed next to him and then padded back to sit on her bureau's accompanying chair.

"I went to Thor for information and it was a waste of my efforts. He thought some childhood stories sounded similar," he sighed derisively. "I left and then there was pain... I tried to come here;" he would have arrived sooner if he had not been caught mid- teleport. "The creature from before met me in that same place. It was speaking in riddles and all I could understand was that it was demanding something again." He tested his powers and found at least minor transformations still worked, though in some quality altered. "It was once more not alone, and called itself 'Baruka'. The creature said something about my memories," and proceeded to walk all over them, a most unnerving sensation he very much never wanted to repeat. "Baruka became angry when it did not find what it was looking for."

"What makes you so special?" She turned around to open a hidden compartment beside the mirror, pulling out several knives and canisters. These she hid in various parts of what would be today's outfit.

"I told you, it was angry I was spying."

"No. If it was, why not kill you the first time? One of your memories must be important enough to keep you alive. And actually, why didn't you kill Baruka?"

"Why would I?"

"You're not the type to just accept being kidnapped with good grace. Nor are you likely to get kidnapped."

"That is no reason to kill someone."

Natasha stood up and her anger filled the room. "What about all the people you've killed for less? Why does Baruka get special treatment? When did 'that creature' become 'someone'?"

"When did this become an interrogation?"

"Stop deflecting."

"In what state did you find me?"

"A change of subject does not mean I'm going to forget about it." There was a moment of silence, save for the muffled traffic. "I got in at 5:30. You were acting like a zombie at first, then you fell over. Kept complaining about your head. While you were still awake, I got you to the bed to sleep it off. If you weren't responsive by the time I was done showering, I was going to bring you in, 'known hostile' or not."

"So, you have not slept?"

"A rare moment of compassion from you, Loki. No, I didn't crawl into bed with you. Do these headaches have something to do with Baruka?"

"Possibly. It should go without saying that this conversation will not make its way back to your employers."

"The trust you place in me is a heavy burden," she retorted, deadpan.

"You are irritatingly perceptive at times and correct that I am not in complete control of this situation. I do not wish to fight Baruka if I could more easily avoid it."

"Either option has the potential to cause even more damage than the last time you were here. Director Fury could—"

"Both he and that insufferable Stark have such delusions of adequacy it is almost laughable! Do you really think that a man in need of a suit to command respect and another whose authority is a pathetic illusion could help me?" He rose from the bed to assume his full height then stood unnaturally still.

"You said Thor mentioned childhood stories. There might be libraries of information on Asgard if you cared to look."

"What would a human know?" he asked, mostly to himself. "Why should I even care whether your people are in danger?"

"You shouldn't. It's not as if you care about what happens to me, either. Is it, Loki?"

It took a moment for everything to fall into place. "You knew?"

"Of course."

"Then why did you waste my time?" he demanded.

"I figured I'd give you a chance. I hoped you would rise to the occasion. Clearly I was wrong."

"What kind of a test is this? You knew none of this was real, yet you played the fool."

"As did you."

"I had a plan and that was my reason to pretend. What was yours?"

"Your behaviour changed and I wanted to know why. Though there is one thing I don't understand."

"Pray tell," he rolled his eyes.

"What the hell were you after?"

"I wanted to destroy the avengers." He held his hand up when she tried to speak. "I know they are scattered now, but one word from your precious Fury and the team is recreated in an instant. Your people would feel much more at peace were I their ruler, but the avengers would inevitably fight me again. And you, my dear, hold them together. If I could change you or, if necessary, remove you then I would have such an easier task ahead of me. Contrary to popular belief, I can and do learn from my mistakes."

"Can you really learn? You're going to follow your old ways of lying and avoiding rather than asking for help to fix the problem. Enjoy your loneliness."

His face fell for an instant but he put on his usual grin to mask his inner turmoil. "How very enlightening this has been. I will see you soon," he promised by way of a farewell as he teleported out.


	9. Not 'Will' Again?

It was not a good day. A repeated kidnapping and argumentative morning later, speaking with Tony Stark in the corridors of his tower was not the way Loki wanted to spend the rest of his rather unsatisfactory day. It was an Odinsend (though he loathed the phrase) that Stark's focus was already divided between energy readings from the night before and walking.

"Look, fella, I'd love to tell you all about my breakfast the other day, but I'm really busy right now," Stark said without warning.

"Clearly." Because waiting at the entrance carrying nothing and talking to no one screamed "busy", he thought.

"Alright, if you must know, Pepper came in to tell me about a meeting and asked if I'd eaten already, so I told her the potatoes should've been—"

"If I tell you about last night, will you _cease_?"

"So... how far did you get with her? Come on, I've heard it all before and done most of it, too." Understanding these Midgardian euphemisms was going faster each time, but it did not make dealing with them any easier. "Huh, you got color-changing makeup on or something? Didn't think you Asgardians were that way inclined. You should use more flattering colors—"

"Energy. Readings. There was a time dilation, was there not? Unless you have misunderstood, then there was some kind of local distortion that affected even your rudimentary clocks. I alone cannot cause anything on that scale, so I suggest you look for the source before it happens again. And I swear to whatever god or gods you might believe in that I will strangle you with your intestines if I ever hear about your toast, potatoes, or your Pepper from this moment on."

"You have a very good memory for someone claiming to be bored by my breakfast. Seriously, though. Thanks for the info. Maybe I don't need to experiment on you now. Probably." As he walked away, Stark added, "Bit high-strung though. You still need to release some tension after being at her place, ah? You ever want to come down to the lab, we got an empty seat just for you, babe." The winking afterward was entirely unnecessary.

Loki would have to examine Stark's data later if he could not hide himself from that creature by typical means. Relying on humans was starting to become a habit, one he would break when this Kybant business was over. A flash of pain seared across his scalp. _When_ this was over, he thought with considerable force, he would sleep until Ragnarök to rid himself of these headaches.

Were he in a better mood, perhaps he might have barked orders normally to the agent at the counter rather than with even more elaborate insults than usual. The 'quivering, mealy-mouthed ape' decided not to fetch Director Fury as requested but instead came back with security guards. After one of them put a hand on his shoulder, Loki crushed it. Of the various agents and Stark employees, someone had the sense to alert S.H.I.E.L.D. security. They arrived, headed by Fury.

"Is there a reason you're damaging my employees?"

"Your employees would know not to touch me. These are Stark's ill-trained knaves."

Fury surveyed the room. "Well, this is good. I wanted to see you anyway. I don't know why you didn't ask to see me—"

"I _did_. That wretch decided to try his luck."

Fury sighed and signalled to the agents behind him, who started towards the injured man curled up on the floor. Then he took Loki up to the same room they'd had many of their meetings in. This time, Agent Hill was absent. The thought of Romanoff (also thankfully absent) only irritated him further.

"Last night," Fury said.

"Natasha did not tell you?" Loki taunted.

"No, she did not. If you're going to play these games, you can play them alone in your cell."

"Oh, I'd _love_ to." These humans were rubbing off on him; it was disgusting.

Fury seemed to share the opinion, judging by the look on his face. "I'm not your psychiatrist and I don't care if you're alright. My condition stands that you will be sedated to the point of drooling if you keep this shit up. Do you have any information about last night or not?"

"The Kybant are real, very real. Twice last night one of them managed to..." he struggled with the words, "take me. I don't know where but neither time was for long."

"Wait, one of them just took you? One of them, these obviously non-humans, wandered into a packed building and took an entire person for less than a second only to what, disappear without a trace?"

"Yes," he hissed with a sneer.

Fury laughed. "Why not just keep you the first time? I guess they couldn't put up with you, either."

Loki waited until he was finished and spoke more forcefully, "Stark mentioned experimenting on me. By the laws of your world, I politely decline."

"By those same laws, you're a war criminal."

"Were that your only concern, I am sure any punishment you devise would go some way to making my requests more tolerable."

"A beating from Natasha isn't enough?"

"No. Enjoyable, though."

"How insane are you already that you think I want to know that?"

"Considering what you do, I should be exactly as insane as you think."

"I am not in the mood for your shit today."

"Nor I you. Your investigative powers fail to impress me. As someone who has willingly come forward with information about a new threat, am I not entitled to some protection? Or if this is the best your organization is capable of, it is inadequate and I shall leave your planet to your laudable defence."

"I do hate to waste your precious time, Loki, but what do you expect me to do? You've given us nothing to work with. We have a basic physical description, and a few fairy tales. Now, they can kidnap demigods in the blink of an eye. I'd get my people on it, except that none of them are quite right for the job. There's Thor, but I bring him in and you'll run home crying to your mama."

"Watch your tongue, _human_. If what goes on even in your own building is a mystery to you, then I don't know why I am still here."

"Funnily enough, our tapes from last night were unreadable. You wouldn't have had anything to do with that, right?"

"I came to speak with Thor, but did nothing to your recordings. I suggest you fix your security problems before I return." He stood up in a smooth motion.

"Or you'll do what, exactly?"

"I won't." With that, Loki turned and left the room. He heard muffled speech from further along the corridor and walked towards it. The realization that one of them was Natasha did nothing for his temper.

"See you, Will. And thanks for the other night." He could almost hear the smile in her voice. They were behind a corner in a waiting area. A door clicked shut nearby. After a short pause, she continued, "About before, I think I might be attracted to him."

"To be honest, he _is _hot. I'd do him so hard..." Maria agreed. Loki wanted to hear no more of this conversation so stepped out in full view of both women. They were smiling when they turned, but Maria grimaced and Natasha rolled her eyes when they saw him. "Oh, we thought you were Will."

"Ah yes, 'Will the attractive one'. Sorry to disappoint."

"Will doesn't disappoint, does he, Natasha?" Maria glanced at her with a sly grin, ignoring Loki. "Dress-down Friday with him is always fun and your unhealthy fascination with his admittedly fine ass is also amusing."

Natasha scoffed, "Like you don't stare at Clint's? You know it's not nice to objectify men..." followed by a burst of insane feminine cackling from both, he observed indignantly. Despite himself, Loki was becoming interested in this. "Nope, and Tony really needs his glowing chest to see what he's doing. _Doesn't he_, Maria?" Natasha flashed an unreadable expression quickly enough that Loki almost missed it.

Maria tilted her head for a second and said, "Yeah, smells like foreplay in here so I'm going to go." She waved her hand in faux-wafting before turning on her heel and leaving.

A moment later, Loki asked, "...Is your friend typical of Earth's culture?"


	10. In Need of Assistance

After her friend had gone, Natasha looked to Loki with a smile. "No one would guess how you look under all that armor."

"You've been guessing?"

"I don't have to."

Loki sighed. "Of course. More proof that humans are _obsessed_." He tilted his head. "Is this why your world is full of conflict? I should use sex as my new tactic. Your people would fall so easily..."

"Do you honestly think you're the first to try that? You're not even the first in this room." He became acutely aware that they were alone.

"I see," he commented. Natasha looked like she was waiting for something. "When last we spoke, you said I would never ask for help."

"I said that would be your usual response, yes."

"If I were to do so now, would you understand the severity of the situation?"

"As with most of my answers, it depends. Are you actually asking for my help?"

Loki closed his eyes and tried not to sneer. "Subtlety is not one of humanity's strong points."

"And honesty is not one of yours. Do you want my help or not?"

"I am beginning to think that any assistance from you would necessitate a lengthy discussion mid-battle."

"For god's sake, Loki. Is it a battle I could help you win?" She crossed her arms.

"I don't know. My enemy is more powerful than I and you have no magic or strength."

"You have magic and physical powers where I have stealth and other skills."

"You know not what you would face, human. As your employer eloquently put it, they can kidnap a god in the blink of an eye. What use would a woman be?"

"When you're done being a jackass, I'd like you to prove you're worth helping." She turned towards the elevator door, but looked back at him. "By the way, the people assigned to watch you have been missing since last night. Returning them would be a very good idea." As she started to walk away, he grabbed her arm.

"Wait. When were they taken?"

"Approximately eleven o'clock." After she glared, he let go.

"Damn. I doubt you would believe me, but I did not take them. However, if I can find them will you take that as 'proof I'm worth helping'?"

"Do it, then we'll talk." Her demands and abrupt exit were confusing. Why was she so concerned about these agents? Did she know them? ...Ah, it reminded her of Barton. An amended version of his plan might still work if he were more attuned to her emotions.

As to the agents, that creature would have to answer for interrupting everything yet again. Even more irritating were these constant headaches. Perhaps Natasha was right: both the Kybant and the pain were linked. He could not call up the creature on command, nor would he want to, but it was clear who had taken her colleagues. Now, how to return them?

Loki noticed a cushioned chair by the window and sat rather than teleport elsewhere. This 'Baruka' had powers enough to rival his own. Their last meeting had been far less kind than he let on. Natasha's comment that 'One of your memories must be important enough to keep you alive' was unnaturally astute given how little he told her. It transpired that the creature was indeed looking for information, some tiny detail hidden in his people's histories. Loki's mother would read him their stories when he was a child, centuries ago. A pang of loss made him tighten his fist. He did not know whether Thor was, for once, being compassionate or had simply forgotten Loki's nightmares. As interesting as the Kybant were, he was also terrified of their power. After the destruction of an entire Kamore village, Baruka and his mother Chitoba just vanished? According to legend, the rest of the Kybant civilization faded shortly afterward. Loki always guessed that unusually powerful pair was the cause.

Baruka had torn through his mind in search of something. Loki had earlier thought him surrounded by others but found it strange to realize he was alone. The shadows in the fog were just that. Projections. Knowing his enemy was without allies gave him no comfort; it meant Baruka was desperate, even more so than could be inferred from his need for this memory. He could not bring Natasha there. His headache was not abating and his vision was blurring again. As an experiment, he set his mind solely on her. If the ache continued then he could delight in informing her that she was wrong. If not, well, she had given him much to think about in any event.

Certainly her skills were formidable, especially for a human. Stealth would not be of much use on enemy territory. It would be Black Widow's violent tendencies and intelligence that might win him this battle. He idly wondered if it were those same qualities in himself that she favoured. If in reality she did still favour him, or ever did. Considering how much of the past he'd had to relive in the last day, it was a surprise how unwilling he was to admit that he found a certain pleasure in her company. And while utterly infuriating in Asgardians, her quick jibes and irreverence were all too often unexpected and somehow refreshing. Perhaps it was Natasha's initial lack of any emotion that drew him in: he was most used to being overlooked or more recently feared and hated. Having no response at all, even after his scathing attack on the airship, threw him off balance.

Loki loathed remembering, but she did trick him; she might trick Baruka as well. He leaned back in the chair, looking at the ceiling. It was a stab of pain afresh that made him realize his headache had subsided earlier. Well. There could always be another factor causing them. She could be right, or she could be wrong. They would know for certain when this whole affair was over. Would they? Maybe she was already planning to kill him once this new threat was dealt with. The number of times she mentioned how easily she could do so was disquieting, even for him. He could leave the planet, but for the sake of one woman's throwaway promises... Where would be the fun in that?

After a time, he was interrupted when the elevator emitted a high-pitched beep and opened. "Ah," Loki murmured.

"Brother! I am very happy to see that you are well. It was worrying to see you so pained last night,"

Thor pronounced, coming closer.

"Hmm. You observe more than you acknowledge."

"Loki, you shall always be my brother. Even if you deny this, I know you. Having grown together, I know of your tricks." Thor looked to the chair opposite and sat gracefully, leaning forward.

Loki made no move to adjust his rather slumped position. "Do you really?"

"I can rush forth at times, and that makes your illusory magic especially potent, but I know how you think."

"Yet you realize that if you thought about what was in front of you, it wouldn't make sense?" Loki sat bolt upright in his seat. That same feeling of understanding from when he realized Natasha knew everything hit him again, now about the Kybant. "If you had done more thinking when we were 'growing together', I might not have grown to resent your influence."

Thor's huge shoulders drooped. "I am truly sorry for my actions, but I cannot apologize until the end of time. I wish you peace." He shifted to get up.

Loki raised a hand. "Actually, Thor, if you want to help me I have a simple request."

"You would seek my counsel and not resent my influence?" Thor said, leaning away.

"In this regard, no. It is not something I've handled well." Loki moved his hand to half-cover his mouth.

"Speak, brother. I will aid you however I can."

"I have offended a… friend. It is rather unfortunate timing as I also require her assistance."

"You want me to make amends? If it is a personal matter, I do not see how—"

"It is, but she will listen to you more than I. There has been a misunderstanding, and the only way to correct it requires both of us."

"Ah, and she will not help you because of it."

Loki smiled. "It is a delicate situation. You know her, and she trusts you so it will be easy."

"Natasha?" Thor smirked and raised his eyebrows. "I had suspected you were taken by her charms, but if you care for her feelings, then I will do all I can."

Loki groaned. "Could you speak with more prudence? The walls have ears."

"Do they?"

Loki closed his eyes when one of them started to twitch.


	11. No More Waiting

There was nothing for it but to wait after Loki prodded Thor in the right direction. Loki came to her apartment to discover whether Natasha did as he asked. The theft took longer than he would have thought, but the best plans required patience. Loki was walking between the kitchen and living room when he noticed her return with the introduction of a knife to his throat. As one of the few who could sneak up on him, Black Widow took advantage of her privileged status far more often than he liked. He took in her flustered appearance with a minute glance. She lowered the weapon, replacing it in her belt.

"You seem to be making a habit out of appearing here unannounced, Mr. Odinson. Should I be concerned?"

"You're perfectly able to defend yourself, and you've made that very clear. Have you made your decision?" He held out his hand.

"I'll need to investigate later how you knew what Tony's been working on," she blinked slowly, "and exactly where it was, but yes. I retrieved his 's.h.i.e.l.d.'" She paused to remember its name. "Stores, handles, identifies, and executes Loki data. I'm sure it's supposed to be funny." Natasha smirked and he chuckled. She gave him the device and walked back to sit on her sofa.

"And what was your rationale for doing so, if I may ask?"

"An advance for the agents' safe return. Screw it up and your ass is mine."

"Tempting. I will do what I can to release them. Baruka is no friend." Loki moved to lean on the doorframe, and they were silent.

Natasha gave him a frustrated look. "Well, go. Fetch!"

"Am I to be afforded no concern? After our dance, one could be forgiven for thinking you felt something."

"I know you're walking into your nightmare here, but the agents were completely unprepared. I'd rather not have them spend any more time potentially tortured for information about _you_ than necessary."

"How dutiful. But... 'my nightmare'? I see Thor revealed more than he should have. They were the unsettled musings of a lonely child and absolutely nothing to do with you, my lady. It would be wise to forget them."

"And it was these 'musings' that started your problem, so no. I refuse. Or since you started this, you can finish it alone."

"As I recall, you involved yourself in what you so delightfully call my problem."

"You should have told me from the beginning that you were compromized."

"My, is that Director Fury I hear?"

"Yeah, he took the place on the next floor. We got a good deal for a double booking." When it became clear he did not plan to leave immediately, she sighed and got up.

"Irksome woman."

"Selfish bastard." Natasha walked past him into the kitchen and started making a hot drink.

"Are you quite finished?" He turned to follow her movements.

"Do you need the last word in everything?"

Loki pursed his lips. "I might not return."

"And what do you want from me? You keep saying a woman would be no help."

"Why must you still hold my words, said in anger, against me?"

"Obviously you haven't chosen to trigger whatever would bring you to Baruka because you're afraid of him. And, because I haven't forgotten from earlier, is this alien who terrified you as a child worthy of your sympathy now? I want to know what happened to the man who honestly thought he could enslave a planet." After pouring hot water into a cup, she took a sip.

"Your memory is by far your most endearing quality."

She grabbed the high collar of his leather shirt and pulled Loki to her eyelevel. Not to be taken aback by her again, he had been watching for it. "Then you know I'm going to keep asking. Why is one threatening asshole more worthy than billions of people who have done nothing to you?"

"I'm sure I have no idea what you're talking about. I am reacting as I see fit to a being who has expressed hostile intent but never acted upon it."

She looked into his eyes, searching for something. "From what you've shown me so far, your last tantrum here was just a fluke. How can you hope to deal with him?"

"I do have a plan, of sorts."

"Very inspiring." Natasha let go of him but he stayed slightly hunched over, staring.

"When I was relieved of my weaponry, the incompetent fools set to the task ignored that I am a master of magic. I'm sure you have similar methods of concealment here."

"Let's hope this weapon can take on what you can't."

"And that your employers won't miss Stark's... s.h.i.e.l.d. too soon. How much farther can you push before you fall out of their good graces?"

"As far as I need to."

"Good to know you can trust in your allies, but it won't last."

She glared at him. "S.H.I.E.L.D. understands the importance of acting when you have sufficient information to make a sound decision. I'll explain when this is all over and they'll be fine. However, this will never be over if you don't get moving. If you want, I can smack you to induce your headache and you can finish this."

"I never said you were correct in your assumption."

"You didn't have to."

"Do you enjoy my pain that much?" When she took another sip and smiled, he continued, "Last chance to say anything more before my possible death amid stars unknown."

"Drive safe."

He sighed and focused on Baruka along with what he knew of the Kybant, instigating the expected stab of pain. Loki looked to Natasha as his vision blurred, and pulled her close to give her a kiss. The loud static and sensation of being pulled in every direction lasted briefly. It was only later that he recalled her expression was smug. In the moment, normality returned in terms of his restored senses. She came back into focus against the foggy background.

"Does that happen every time you get excited?"

He had to laugh. Then it struck him that she was here, too. With Baruka. Exactly where he did not want her to be. This - possibly the longest day in his life - was not going very well.

"I suppose this erases most of your doubts," Loki conjectured and flicked a few dials that caused the s.h.i.e.l.d. to whir into life. He pointed it at Black Widow first, meanwhile scanning around them for any other signs of life. She was very helpfully dressed for a fight.

"We'll see. Does he fit the description you gave us?" she asked, looking everywhere.

"Close enough. And... Thank you."

"Thank me when we're home. Large shadow at your one o'clock." He turned to see exactly what she described.

"Your keeper has more astute senses than you do, Asgardian." The dark shape moved closer and gradually resolved into a long creature with pale fur.

"She is not my 'keeper', foul beast."

Baruka turned to address Black Widow, who had been moving slowly around him. "There is something he knows that I must know."

"Why are you telling her?"

"You do not listen, loud one."

"He knows you better than you know yourself," Black Widow observed.

"Your employers will be very interested to hear that you antagonized a new species, won't they?"

"Baruka, what is it he knows?"

"Something that may resurrect my mother."

"Since you couldn't find it last time, is it something Loki doesn't know he knows?"

Loki looked from the creature to his companion. "I am right here. You could simply _ask_ me."

"It is possible. He has been most perverse."

She pursed her lips to keep from smiling and glanced down briefly. "I can imagine."

"How are you assisting me, precisely?"

"I can listen when you can't, so shut up."

"This one knows many stories of my people, far more than any other being has. He does not offer them willingly."

"Because kidnapping someone is a fine method of garnering their friendship. Isn't it, monster?" Loki spat.

"I'm guessing this is the same Baruka from the myths you told us, and he's more powerful than you. How does it make any sense to provoke him?"

"My mind is not available at your whim, or his. Bargain with that in mind."

"Like your head isn't the scariest place I could think of."


	12. Focus

"This is exactly why I did not want you here," Loki sneered.

"You said you needed my help. Many times," Black Widow reminded him. "So be quiet and let me help."

"Not here! It would be far easier for you to steal from your employers than for me to do so."

"And who brought me here? It's not like I can teleport."

The tall creature had been quietly watching them until now. "You brought her here?" Baruka asked.

"Is that really important right now?" she asked.

"How?" he pressed.

"The 'loud one' focused on you and here we are."

"Silence!" Loki yelled. With a swift hand movement, he summoned and grabbed an ornate blue box from nowhere. It was the Casket of Ancient Winters, not that anyone in the nearest seven realms would know. He could feel the enchantment fade away starting with his hands as a vortex of icy winds shot from the Casket onto Baruka. Unsurprisingly, he screamed. Then the Kybant began swiping at the air and his arms glowed. The mist around them started to solidify in combination with the shards of ice into a wall. The wall grew until it curved around him, becoming more like a dome. Loki sent the Casket back to its pocket dimension with another wave and his enchantment returned.

"Well, that was a waste of time." She saw a dark shape through the dull ice standing quite still and walked over to the smooth wall. Black Widow punched through with a little electrical shock from her gloves.

"Must you emasculate me at every turn, Natasha?" Loki inquired.

The rest of the dome crumbled into nothing around Baruka. "I still do not have what I need, loud one," he said, stepping closer.

Loki punctuated his words with attacks. "Nor," a flurry of thrown knives evaporated, "do," a staff summoned for an instant to slash him batted away, "I!" and a kick easily deflected.

"Loki, I know you're used to doing things your way, but that hasn't been working out, has it? There was that one story you told us, about Baruka and his mother. Chitoba."

"Ah yes." Loki asked, "Whatever became of her? Before her untimely demise, of course."

"I do not know. I have not seen her in so long... I am now to meet my end and hers must have come by the time I began to search for her."

"It's kind of nice you still want her back," Black Widow sighed.

"I have tried to bring her back, and almost succeeded with my aunts. Perhaps I do not have enough power?" Baruka lifted his large arms with hands upturned, a strangely human gesture.

"If you don't, I doubt any being alive could help you. Not that they would desire to," Loki said.

Black Widow glared at him. "There's nothing wrong with loving your mother."

"I know that!" he retorted.

"Do you know of any other Kybant?" she continued asking Baruka.

"I have avoided them after what I did to the village. They would not react well to seeing me."

"So no one else was around to tell you anything."

Loki interrupted, "I tire of your methods. Baruka's actions are his own."

"That's the first thing; Baruka's not actually male."

'She' turned to Black Widow and listened intently.

"And how did you arrive at this conclusion?" Loki asked.

"It should be obvious." Black Widow looked at him expectantly. "No? Puny god. That story is an allegory. You've never actually met your mother, but you have her memories, right?"

Baruka opened her mouth but did not speak, staring with a new fascination. Loki looked unimpressed.

"There might be a Kybant version of this, but on Earth there's an idea of a phoenix. It's a bird that dies and comes back in an endless cycle. I think Chitoba was your previous cycle."

"If that were true, then what of the stranger? And how would she have created," he paused and glanced at Baruka, "_her_ while being the same creature?"

"You're too literal. Though that is an interesting point about the stranger: maybe it's some ancient traveller who was waiting for some preordained cataclysmic event. Or maybe it was some slightly-too-observant idiot in the wrong place at the wrong time."

"How, as a species, does that make sense? Each person would be their own familial line and when someone dies, the whole species' numbers decline. An entire village was destroyed! That would have had substantial impact."

"Maybe that whole 'bursting into flames' thing got taken a bit too far. It's unfortunate but also, judging by what you've said, happened a very long time ago. Not much we can do."

"Then why are we here?"

Black Widow rolled her eyes, then turned to Baruka. "I'm sorry, but you can't resurrect your mother."

"That is sad."

"And I understand that this is a shock for you, but that can't excuse taking several people who had the bad luck to be connected to Loki. Could you please return them?"

"They will be with you when you leave this place." After a solemn pause, Baruka said, "Thank you. You have given me peace in my final days and I hope my child will have some of your spirit."

"I wish you twins," Natasha smiled.

"So, not only was I removed from Earth without my consent, it was all pointless," Loki pronounced.

"I really shouldn't be surprised that emotional fulfilment means that little to you except I would have thought that, with your daddy issues, all this might be helpful," Natasha gestured towards the rest of the strange space.

"Your utter disregard knows no bounds."

"And you're the height of civility. All the time."

It was odd adjusting to the practicalities of having three S.H.I.E.L.D. agents collapsed on her floor, but Black Widow immediately set to checking them for injuries and making the necessary calls for pick-up.

"I suppose in light of greater revelations this is a trivial one, but beyond the fact that Chitoba was obviously female, how did you guess Baruka was as well?"

"You don't think of yourself as a woman—"

"No."

"And you're the only person she'd made a real link with, so how would she know any different?"

"Nonsense." He still wrinkled his nose to begin with, "She spoke of others who knew the Kybant's tales less fully than I did."

"And most probably weren't obsessed as kids."


End file.
